I inserted the following bit from a scene in my book, Going Native. This is a conversation between Tanner, Lexus' love interest, and the cook, Joe.
* * *
Green eyes, a shade lighter than Lexus’, looked back at him. "I know that. You and Lexus are adults. Consenting ones evidently. But you and I both know she’s a sheep amongst a pack of wolves." His mouth fell to match the droop of his shoulders. "Why'd you do it? Not--"
Joe gave his head a hard shake. "Not the part where you two…” His gripped fists looked like large saucers at his sides. “What I want to know is why'd you say what you did to that prick at the service station?"
Tanner’s raked his finger through unkempt hair for a second time. “I messed up.”
“You. Messed. Up.” Joe snapped his body in Tanner’s direction, and then stopped, his head moving back and forth in a slow . . . slow . . . no. “Uh eh. You didn’t mess up. Let’s review. You took her home. Right?” He nudged Tanner an inch backwards.
“Okay, so we agree on that point. You wined her and dined her, then took her to bed. Right?” Gone was the mild manner cook. Joe’s eyes bore into him from underneath gray streaked brows. He pushed at Tanner’s chest harder. “Right?”
Tanner gave a short nod, his mouth pulled in a straight line.
“Then denied her.” The words were soft, Joe’s face furrowed in a questioning expression in contrast to the his statement.
Silence, like a spider weaving it’s web, grew between them. Tanner knew when he answered he would be the spider’s prey, forever caught in what he’d done.
“Yes.” Past the ability to meet Joe’s eyes, his dropped to the floor.
* * *
My score came back LEAN!!!
The site explains the program with the following: Based on a simple algorithm, the WritersDiet Test calculates the
fitnessof your writing sample in each of five grammatical categories. The higher the percentage of highlighted words, the
flabbieryour score. Click on the colored bars for more details.
The five areas looked at are verbs, nouns, prepositions, adjectives/adverbs, and is, this, that, there. You also get a scoring for overall. The program also highlights in the sample analyzed all the words that fall within the perimeters identified in the five grammar categories.
Give it a try and see how fit or flabby you are.